Living will informal caregiver: what should you arrange in time?

As an informal caregiver, you would rather have things properly arranged before something goes wrong. A living will helps to record who may act on behalf of your loved one if they can no longer do so themselves later on. This gives you more control over financial matters, care, and appointments.

What is the difference between a living will and a will?

You use a living will for later, if you can no longer make decisions properly yourself. In it, you record who may make choices on your behalf then. This can involve money, care, medical decisions, and personal wishes.

A will only takes effect after your death. So that is something different. In a living will, you can also choose different people for different tasks. You can even have someone keep an eye on things as a supervisor.

What can you already record now for later?

First think about what you want arranged. Take your notes with you to the notary. The notary checks whether you understand the consequences, puts everything down legally in writing, and has it registered.

When is a power of attorney, guardianship, mentorship, or curatorship appropriate?

If your loved one can still make decisions themselves, an authorization or power of attorney is the lighter option. This can also be done online via DigiD Authorization or at the bank. Your loved one remains in control.

If making decisions independently is no longer possible, there are more serious measures through the subdistrict court judge. Guardianship concerns financial matters, mentorship concerns personal matters such as care, and curatorship covers both. Start with the least intensive option that fits the situation.

What does competent or incompetent to decide mean?

Someone is competent to decide if they can make a decision themselves. Incompetent to decide means that someone can no longer properly make a certain decision. This is assessed separately for each subject, not for everything at once.

An expert, usually a doctor, assesses this. If someone is incompetent to decide on a subject, the care provider records where this is no longer possible. Discuss this with your general practitioner in time, so that wishes can be discussed on time.

Who decides about care and medical decision-making?

If your loved one can no longer decide about a treatment themselves, the doctor follows a fixed order. First, the doctor looks at a representative appointed by the court, such as a curator or mentor. If there is none, then a written proxy from, for example, a living will counts.

After that come, in order, the spouse or partner, a parent, a child, and finally a brother or sister. The representative decides as much as possible in the way your loved one would have wanted it themselves. If you may observe while your loved one can still decide, permission is needed, preferably in writing.

How do you start the conversation in time?

It is better to start too early than too late. Such a conversation can be about care, treatment, and farewell. It does not have to be long. Sometimes fifteen minutes is enough.

Does your loved one find it difficult to talk? Then a personal letter or a wishes booklet can help. Talk about it with you, with other family members, and with the doctor.

What can you do afterwards?

Put wishes on paper as early as possible, so there is less doubt later. For financial matters, care, and medical decisions, it helps to record now who may do what. Take your notes with you when you go to the notary.

If your loved one lives in a care facility, there should be a care plan. This sets out the agreements about care, support, the daily routine, and your role as an informal caregiver. Write down your questions in advance, so you are well prepared.