Discussing care wishes with parents in time

If you discuss care wishes in time, things often become calmer later. Then you can record together what your parents consider important, before there is a rush. That helps make choices that fit their lives better and what you can do.

How do you start a conversation about later?

Talking about the final phase of life often feels exciting. Yet it brings peace of mind if you know what matters. It is better to start too early than too late, especially as someone gets older or is seriously ill.

Don’t make it bigger than necessary. Sometimes fifteen minutes is enough. It can already be about how someone wants to be remembered. A letter or wishes booklet can help if talking is difficult.

Which topics can you discuss?

You can talk about care, treatment, and farewell. Wishes around the end of life also belong there. Also think about what someone finds important in daily life.

It is about choices that may come up later. For example, who gets to join the conversation, and what should or should not happen. A wish not to be resuscitated can also be part of this. Above all, list what is important to your loved one.

Who takes part in such a conversation?

Have the conversation with different people: with you, with other family members, and with the doctor.

When do you involve the general practitioner?

Start this conversation with your general practitioner in time. This is especially important if you want to discuss euthanasia or if wishes still need to be clearly recorded.

Discuss this with your general practitioner in time, so wishes can be discussed in time. The general practitioner can also think along if the care becomes too heavy. If you yourself have physical or psychological complaints because of the care, go to your own general practitioner.

How do you record wishes and agreements?

Put wishes and agreements in a care plan. With multiple care providers, it helps to write down tasks, expectations, and responsibilities. Ask who the fixed contact person is. That can be the general practitioner, district nurse, or specialist nurse.

If your loved one lives in a care institution, there should be a care plan. With care under the Long-Term Care Act, such a plan is mandatory. It must be ready within six weeks after the start of care. The care provider discusses the plan with you at least twice a year. You may be present and take part in the discussion.

Arrange your loved one’s finances as much as possible together with your loved one.